OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
