i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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