So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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