We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
