All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my shit smells like andre
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize