Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I wish I only lived at night.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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