I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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