Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
