4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
