Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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