just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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