Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
