Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
