you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
