In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
