so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
