I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
