that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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