so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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