You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
