they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
