You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
