Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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