You smell like stripper and shame
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
