tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize