just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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