you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
