very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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