What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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