She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
