just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
