Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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