i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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