I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
