She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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