I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize