Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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