do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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