he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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