I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
