I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize