come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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