RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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