Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
