Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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