I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
