i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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