I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize