I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Welp...herpes.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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