I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Im part way to drunk.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
