I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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