I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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