By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Nicole vs. Life
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
