Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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