Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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