Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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