We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
