careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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