do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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