we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
