i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize