Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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