If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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