i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
