He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
