Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
