$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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