I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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