you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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