bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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