Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
