did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
