But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
