there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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