New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
